


Unicorns

by SuperRedRobin (SweetFanfics)



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU - Comicverse
Genre: Innuendo, M/M, Unicorns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-12
Updated: 2012-02-12
Packaged: 2017-10-31 00:39:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/337995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetFanfics/pseuds/SuperRedRobin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Has anyone ever given you a unicorn?” Tim stared blankly at an eager Kon. “Has someone ever given me a what?” the older boy repeated carefully. “Y’ know…” Kon waggled his eyebrows and made a meaningful expression implying….actually Tim had no idea what the hell his best friend was implying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unicorns

**Author's Note:**

> Back when I wrote this drabble, urban dictionary had this definition of the word 'unicorn' that was, unicorn is giving someone a blowjob.

Tim barely blinked as Kon hopped over the couch to plop down beside him. He resolutely focused on the data on his laptop, fingers dancing away across the keyboard as he shifted between files and made notes. He did not have to wait long (or at all, he snarked interally) for Kon to speak up.

 

“So. Tim. I was wondering something.”

 

Tim didn’t bother to look up from his screen. “About what?”

 

He could tell just by the tone of Kon’s voice that he was leering at him, “About you.”

 

“As flattered as I am that you chose to spend your free time thinking about me, does this conversation have a point?” Tim gave Kon a quick dry glance and he briefly wondered why Kon looked like a mix between a curious cat and a hungry predator.

 

“Patience, Padawan.” Kon waggled a lazy finger of reproach at Robin, “So anyways. I was wondering…”

 

Tim turned to look at Kon, patiently waiting for Kon to complete his sentence. Kon for his part, leaned back slightly before asking, “Has anyone ever given you a unicorn?”

 

Tim stared blankly at an eager Kon. “Has someone ever given me a _what?_ ” the older boy repeated carefully.

 

“Y’ know…” Kon waggled his eyebrows and made a meaningful expression implying….actually Tim had no idea what the hell his best friend was implying.

 

“No. No I don’t know.” Tim said slowly. He was starting to wonder if maybe Kon was trying to pull a prank on him when Kon’s expression turned to surprise. “Wait…you…don’t know what I mean?”

 

“Contrary to your belief Kon, I’m not a walking encyclopedia and I don’t know _everything_.” His every word was dripping with so much sarcasm that Kon could almost see the stains on the floor. The meta shrugged slightly as he muttered, “You sure don’t act like that.”

 

And then in a louder voice asked, “Lemme borrow your laptop for a second. I’ll show you what it means.”

 

Tim leveled a hard glare at his best friend, “If this is something stupid….”

 

“What? You don’t trust me?” Kon asked blithely with a large smile.

 

With a long suffering sigh (and an eye roll), Tim handed the laptop over (after getting rid of the open files) and waited. Thankfully he didn’t have to wait for long (only 17 seconds). He accepted the laptop back, eyes going to the text which Kon was pointing towards.

 

A slow flush worked its way up Tim’s neck and spread over his cheeks as he did his best to hold his splutters in. He chose to give Kon his best angry glare as the meta grinned back at him, a row of perfect white teeth flashing back at him. “ _Sooooo_?” Kon teased his best friend. “Anyone ever give you a unicorn?”

 

Tim’s voice was low and steady and filled with a deadly calm as he replied, “I refuse to answer that. And if you don’t stop asking me, I _will_ find a way around your TTK and give you a black eye.”

 

“Aha!” Kon crowed as he pointed at his flushing buddy. “No one has right? I _told_ Bart that but he was like ‘THAT’s not possible.’ I was _so_ right.” Kon’s preening could put a strutting peacock to shame.

 

He resumed working on his report in the hopes of warding Kon off. The soft typing noises started again, providing a good noise to focus on as he worked.

 

But ignoring the meta became impossible when he suddenly felt him shift and press right up against his side. The sudden warmth against his side and his shoulders made him briefly close his stutter slightly. But other than that, he gave no outward signs of being affected by his _extremely_ close proximity with Superboy.

 

Tim jerked his head to the side, flinching slightly as he found Kon’s face scant inches away from his. The heat of his naked skin against the back of his neck made him shiver as he asked (in as steady a voice as he could manage), “What is it now Kon?”

 

Kon’s eyes were dark and filled with promise (and the faintest hint of humor) as he eyed Tim’s discomfort. “Want me to give you a unicorn?”. The husky tone made his stomach twist in pleasure-pain and his blush returned with full force as he quietly stared at Kon.

 

And without a word he picked up his laptop and retreated from the common room.

 

“I’d be happy to help any time Tim.”

 

As Tim exited the room faster than he planned, he wondered who the _hell_ had introduced Conner to Urban Dictionary, _who_ told him to look up unicorns and how long he could hold out against him.

 

(And if the pleasurable ache in his body was _any_ indication, he was pretty sure that he wouldn’t be able to hold out too long if Kon kept up with the close proximity attacks.)

 

Tim groaned and hastened to his room, hoping against hope that Kon wouldn’t follow. Tim was relieved when he realized that he was not being followed. But then he found out why.

 

An envelope had been taped to his door. Tim peeled it off the door and eyed the paper warily before flipping it open. He felt his stomach drop as he pulled out a string of coupon’s with a unicorn drawn on them and the phrase ‘Good for receiving one unicorn from S.B.’

 

His life was _officially_ a living Hell.


End file.
